And I’m back. Sorry for the delay in posting new shit, but I’ve spent the better part of this past week re-learning how to type on this phone, and the results have been a mixed bag. I never realized how phenomenal the iPhone predictive text and autocorrect were until I started using this piece of shit. You know how if you forget to hit space between words on an iPhone, it does it for you? NOT SO HERE. Also, if I write “tl” instead of “to” on this phone, it doesn’t correct it to “to. ” It uses what is apparently the second most-popular option: “Tlingit.” Another treat: “ylu” autocorrects to “Ulises,” but when I tried to write “Ulises” just now, that autocorrected to “hours.” Texting on this thing is like being in a fucking David Fincher film. Plus, since the screen on this phone is smaller, I need a fucking electron microscope to see the keys, and whatever the finger equivalent of an electron microscope is to type my messages accurately. I want this phone to turn into a human just so I can hear it scream when I set it on fire.

But I digress.

I’ve been listening to three albums in almost constant rotation lately: “AM” by Arctic Monkeys, “…Like Clockwork” by Queens of the Stone Age, and “OutRun” by Kavinsky. I’m going to refrain from discussing Arctic Monkeys and QOTSA today, because I want to give them a proper post in the future, so today I’ll just be discussing Kavinsky; namely, how fucking cool he is.

Kavinsky is the alter ego of Vincent Belorgey, a French DJ, actor, and overall badass. But I don’t care about Belorgey the person right now- I care about Kavinsky. You might recognize him as the artist behind “Nightcall,” the song that played during the opening credits of “Drive” (and if you don’t, pay attention to the music in movies for once, you ape. It’s there for a goddamned reason.) The song is awesome, so I did a little research about Kavinsky; with or without your permission, I’d like to share the story of Kavinsky with you.

In 1986, a man named Kavinsky was racing his Ferrari Testarossa on a dark, winding road when he crashed. The car was instantly engulfed in flames, and Kavinsky died in the wreck. 20 years later, however, he came back from the dead…to cruise around in his ’86 Testarossa all night and make techno music for the people. As a zombie.


That’s what “Nightcall” is about- he goes to see the girl with whom he was in love when he died, but things between them have changed forever. His girlfriend recognizes that he’s not the man she once loved, so he leaves,destined to cruise around this planet for all eternity in his Ferrari.

In the hands of a less-creative individual, this whole backstory would come across as meaningless nonsense, but Belorgey commits to the story of Kavinsky so completely that it works. He also uses a lot of equipment from the 80s to make his beats, so you sort of feel like they were created by a guy who died in 1986 and doesn’t know about new technology. It really underscores the whole backstory.

The other cool thing about Kavinsky is the image of the character: he looks like a zombified Billy Zabka, right down to the old-school high-tops, stonewashed jeans and letterman’s jacket. That’s exactly why the whole character works so well: because Belorgey has crafted  the story of Kavinsky so thoroughly. When I listen to the music, I don’t think I’m listening to Vincent Belorgey, a French DJ who tours with Daft Punk and Justice; I think I’m listening to Kavinsky, the guy who died in ’86 and doesn’t know anything other than driving and music. Oh, also, his latest album is called “OutRun,” named after the Sega racing game which features (what else?) a Ferrari Testarossa. Yup.

It may seem gimmicky when I describe it, but listen to “Nightcall” and you’ll see what I mean. And if you listen and say to yourself “What the fuck is Ryan talking about? This guy sucks,” then you’re not a person I want in my life at all.

Think about that.